Screenshot 2024-11-04 at 11.19.18 AM.jpeg

Collaborative Divorce Advocacy

SOUND LEGAL GUIDANCE FOR PEOPLE SEEKING…

  • Positive solutions for the future to move beyond blame for the past.

  • Step-by-step, holistic support for the financial, emotional, and relational challenges of divorce.

  • Out-of-court agreements to prevent the lasting damage of an adversarial litigation process.

  • Strong legal coaching to de-escalate conflict and proactively solve problems.

  • Resentment-proof settlements tailored to specific needs and goals.

  • Well-adjusted children who have healthy post-divorce relationships with both parents.

Washington Super Lawyer

avvo rating of ten

Best Lawyer on Bainbridge Island multiple years

Former president of statewide collaborative professional group

Developer of collaborative law training curriculum

Emotionally Intelligent Divorce Representation

Using a team approach with specially trained professionals — including a lawyer to ensure advocacy for each spouse, one financial analyst for streamlined due diligence, and mental health professionals when appropriate to support healthy transitions — a collaborative divorce provides holistic support to families in transition. Collaborative law provides a highly structured, meetings-based approach for spouses working their way through difficult conflicts around parenting, division of assets, alimony, and child support.

Collaborative divorce was empowering... it allowed me and my ex-spouse to come together with professionals who had the same goals we did: reducing conflict in the divorce process, helping us understand division of assets, spousal and child support, setting a clear path for co-parenting during and after the divorce process, and realizing a stable and suitable financial resolution that helped us with both short- and long-term goals.
— Dan Grady, high-tech company director

why high-conflict divorces need collaborative law, not litigation


Collaborative law can be a successful option for most divorcing couples — feeling amicable is not required! In fact, most of Noffsinger Family Law’s clients over the years have felt betrayed, hurt, angry and not very “collaborative” with their spouses. Rather than a prerequisite for clients, collaborative describes the way the professionals work together to support a family in crisis.

When one party to a divorce is feeling anxious about becoming financially independent, worried about the divorce’s impact on the kids, suspicious that the other spouse might be hiding assets, or angry about how alimony payments will impede saving for retirement, what process would you choose for that situation?

COMMUNICATION BETWEEN SPOUSES

Typical divorce litigation – Many divorce attorneys advise their clients to minimize communication with other spouse, and defer all substantive topics to the lawyers’ negotiations.  Too often, even spouses who worked together fairly well at the beginning of the divorce will start to feel distanced and positional. 

Collaborative divorce process – Both spouses and their lawyers have a series of meetings to problem-solve all issues related to the divorce, with the lawyers setting ground rules to encourage productive communication. Both attorneys are trained mediators, skilled in deescalating conflict and improving communications even through high stress. The collaborative process begins with both spouses articulating their high-level goals for the future.

FILING OF THE DIVORCE PETITION

Typical divorce litigation – One lawyer files the divorce petition in court and delivers it to the other spouse, who might feel surprised or confronted by the quick unilateral action of a court filing. 

Collaborative divorce process – A divorce petition is filed when the spouses agree the timing is right, after considering financial and other impacts of having information about the pending divorce in the public record.

TEMPORARY FINANCIAL ARRANGEMENTS

Typical divorce litigation – One lawyer might seek temporary court orders to dictate short-term arrangements on parenting, finances, and housing – perhaps before the spouses have even discussed such topics.  By now, the spouses are likely to feel more distanced, more distrustful, and angrier about having someone else (a judge, the lawyers, the other spouse) trying to direct their lives and free will. 

Collaborative divorce process – In lieu going to court to seek temporary orders, which can cost thousands of dollars in attorney fees, the attorneys ask both spouses to sign a binding agreement on temporary financial arrangements, to protect assets and prevent unilateral action by one party.  If more detailed agreements are needed, the lawyers work together to help the spouses structure short-term budgets and parenting arrangements.

REVIEW OF ASSETS AND LIABILITIES

Typical divorce litigation – After both lawyers spend significant billable hours collecting and analyzing the same set of financial documents, one sends an offer letter to the other.  The offer letter outlines what one lawyer believes his or her client has a “right” to receive in the divorce, based on that lawyer’s best guess about how a judge might interpret Washington family law.  The offer letter generally wouldn’t address the needs of the other spouse. The lawyers both view divorce as a zero-sum game, and each lawyer seeks to get as much as possible for just one party: his or her client. 

Collaborative divorce process – The attorneys hire one shared financial analyst (who bills less hourly than even one attorney) to review financial documents, prepare a net worth statement, project net worth when helpful, and model settlement scenarios that reflect both spouses’ goals for the future.  Spouses are contractually bound to disclose any potentially relevant information, and all professionals work toward an outcome that ensures that both parties’ financial stability. 

DEVELOPING CO-PARENTING NORMS

Typical divorce litigation – If conflicts arise about parenting, one lawyer will seek to have a guardian ad litem (or parenting evaluator) appointed who will interview and observe parents and kids, talk to parenting “references,” and ultimately write a report recommending which parent should “prevail” in his or her proposed parenting plan.

Collaborative divorce process – Parenting conflicts and disagreements are navigated with the help of specially trained mental health professionals, who can provide guidance on how best to support kids through divorce.  No expert passes judgment on which parent might be “better.”  Instead, resources are provided to ensure that both parents have the support and skills they need to be good co-parents. 

Leigh Noffsinger has handled divorces involving infidelity, substance abuse, untreated mental illness, addiction, even domestic violence – all using the collaborative law approach.  All but about 5% of those cases successfully reached closure with the support of collaboratively trained professionals.  Collaborative law is not about being amicable and agreeable.  It’s about de-escalating tensions to reach effective solutions, helping spouses develop financial plans to ensure success for both, and giving parents tools to work through difficult kid-related issues that inevitably arise during and after divorce. 

Collaborative divorce steps at a glance

  1. Both spouses engage collaborative attorneys.

  2. First joint meeting. Spouses and their attorneys review the collaborative law ground rules and process, discuss high-end goals, and address any immediate issues that need temporary solutions.

  3. Information gathering with financial specialist. Both spouses work jointly with the neutral financial analyst to collect data and documents for complete financial due diligence.

  4. Emotional and parenting support with divorce coach. Both spouses meet jointly with the coach to discuss concerns and communication styles, identify emotional triggers that might cause inefficiencies in the divorce process, and develop strategies to avoid those triggers. In cases involving minor children, the parents work with the coach to develop a parenting plan.

  5. Referrals to other professionals. Lawyers make referrals as necessary to vocational counselors, appraisers, CPAs, business valuators, or others to obtain any additional information needed for settlement discussions.

  6. Financial and legal overview meeting. Both spouses and their lawyers meet with the financial analyst to review a net worth statement, income and budgets, and address any outstanding financial questions; lawyers jointly advise on Washington family law considerations.

  7. Scenario-building meeting. Both spouses and attorneys, along with the financial analyst, meet to identify the key elements each party would need in an acceptable settlement. Following the meeting, the financial analyst models one or two settlement scenarios.

  8. Scenario review meeting(s). Lawyers and spouses meet with financial specialist to review, revise, and refine settlement scenario.

  9. Signing of final documents. Lawyers and spouses meet to review and sign documents.

    *Prior to most group meetings, each lawyer meets individually with his/her client to prepare for the meeting and review agenda items.  Agendas are circulated to spouses in advance of meetings. In cases involving especially high conflict, sensitive concerns around mental health or substance use, or other delicate dynamics, the divorce coach may attend all meetings for added support.