The typical old-school approach to divorce, which uses the court system as a basis for threats and ultimatums, pits spouses against each other as each lawyer tries to get more for his or her client. In litigation, divorce is too often viewed as a zero-sum game, with each lawyer fighting to get MORE for his or her client. “Advocacy” often focuses on entitlements and obligations, with lawyers painting the “other side” as less deserving of a good outcome.

In a collaborative divorce process, although each spouse has a lawyer to provide legal advice and advocacy, the lawyers are working together – with each other and both spouses and additional neutral experts – in a meetings-based process focused on problem solving to meet BOTH parties’ needs. Rather than a battle, divorce is viewed as a difficult life transition for a family deserving of coordinated support, creative solutions, and compassion.

The vast majority of divorcing couples can successfully use a collaborative process to resolve all issues – asset division, debt assignment, child and spousal support, parenting –and avoid an adversarial public court-based process. Spouses do not have to feel collaborative or amicable with each other to benefit from their lawyers working collaboratively to guide them toward reasonable agreements. Noffsinger Family Law has successfully resolved many collaborative divorce cases involving high-conflict couples and complex issues.

No. In collaborative divorce, each spouse has his or her own lawyer who provides advocacy, legal advice, and information on the likely range of outcomes under state law. This ensures that agreements are well-informed, not based on power imbalances, and unlikely to result in resentment later. Any sound divorce process should include independent legal advice for each spouse, to ensure that both can feel confident that their agreements are equitable and balanced with all factors considered.

Noffsinger Family Law’s collaborative cases, from the first joint meeting to the signing of final agreements, generally take four to seven months, involving about five joint meetings with both spouses and their lawyers (and additional neutral professionals at times). The pacing depends largely on the clients’ availability, ability to provide information and documentation reasonably quickly, and emotional readiness to move forward. Cases with more complex dynamics – such as high emotions, mental health struggles, parenting challenges – or closely held businesses or particularly complicated estates can take longer to resolve. In general, a collaborative process almost always will be concluded sooner than a litigated case would reach a trial date (which can range from a year to multiple years).

Comprehensive fees start to finish for a typical collaborative divorce – including two lawyers, a divorce/co-parenting coach, a neutral financial analyst who provides comprehensive financial due diligence, and  all legal documents and court filings reasonably could range from $25,000 to $40,000 total. Data from the past several years shows that Noffsinger Family Law’s average total fees range from $8,000 to $14,000 for her share of billable time in a typical case.

A collaborative divorce would be ill-advised in the following situations, if either spouse…

(1)     If either spouse needs a protection order to feel safe or keep children safe.

(2)     If either spouse hopes to destroy the other in the divorce process – financially, emotionally or otherwise.

(3)     If either spouse wants to publicly shame the other or air dirty laundry in a public forum.

(4)     If either spouse has an unacknowledged and/or untreated addiction or mental illness that makes it difficult to be truthful or participate in a good faith process.

(5)     If either spouse persistently refuses, even after advice from attorneys, to provide relevant information or consider options other than one fixed position.

(6)     If either parent wants to keep the children away from their other parent or has no desire to support the children having healthy relationships with both parents.

Feeling distrust or anger toward your spouse is normal in many situations and does not “disqualify” you from a collaborative divorce process!